Titless Jinchuriki
by Fallen Neko chan
Summary: Naruto has whiskers. Gaara has raccoon eyes. But what does Sakura have? Just check under her shirt. Warning: This story is just a random joke. Or maybe a 'what if' scenario...


To write, or not to write. That is the question. Hi, I'm Fallen Neko chan and this is my first story. And no, I'm not going to put corny noobish character things giving away the disclaimer either. That's the most easiest mistake to make near grammar issues as well. Unless its funny then don't bother adding it.

Titless Jinchuriki

Genre: Humor/adventure sometimes angst especially in chapter one I guess.

**Summary:** To identify the jinchurikis they must have certain characteristics that normal people don't have. Kyuubi is recognized by giving its host whiskers. Ichibi is known for giving his host black like raccoon eyes that lead to insomniac behaviors. The other one, who knows. Just check under her shirt

**Warning: **This story is just a joke. I find it hilarious and pathetic that Kishimoto drew Sakura with no boobs while he gave the others giant bazookas during the time skip. And so the idea of Sakura being a cleavage less host begins! It contains randomness and other stuff you'll find later on in the story.

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Chapter 1 Night of the chimeras cry

It was a wonderful day in Konoha with clear skies and all the other stuff like that. Sakura Haruno, a young woman with light pink spiky hair landing on her shoulders was watching villagers walk by her house. She singed and looked at the passing clouds in triumph. Just then she heard someone coming up to her house.

"Sakura chan!" squealed a voice down below.

"Hmm?" she looked down from her window to see her evil friend, Ino.

Ino smiled a bit. "You ready to go eat?"

Sakura frowned. _Was this a trick_ she thought. Something was messed up with that one simple suggestion. It was as if Ino was trying to trick her or something. It seemed like every female on this earth was trying to pick and destroy her. It all started in the shops. She was buying just a simple dress to go out with the rest of the girls to a restaurant when it happened. Sakura peeked into the dressing rooms to see giant boobies sticking out woman's chests! Now no homo on this one, they sure were nice to her.

Each pair was big and still perky from the adolescent years. Sakura checked her own cleavage to see if she was on the same level as them. Nothing. Not even a bump. Sakura cried anime tears a bit and ran out the store without a freshly bought new dress. And that's how she ended up spying on people through her upstairs window. Ino was long gone before Sakura could answer her. She steamed and left the window to go sulk on her bed. Sakura pounded the bed causing holes to form in her sheets.

_'It's not fair!' _she cried pathetically.

**'Hahaha! How's it feel like to not have any hooters?' **joked a voice.

_'Shut up inner._' she hissed.

**'Tech. I'm not inner fool.' **it rolled its eyes at the kunoichi.

_'Then who the hell are you?' _outer asked.

**'I'm--'**

Kaboom!

Sakura moved her head up like a Meerkat. "What was that?"

"Get off me!" shouted a voice.

"Mother!" she shouted and hoped off the bed. Sakura ran down the steps feeling adrenaline in her veins. Chakra pumped and flowed through her body as she ran down taking each landing like a hit to the face. She skidded to a halt to see a man wrestling with her mother. He had silver hair and purple eyes and a scythe tied behind his back.

"Hold still bitch!" he cursed.

"My mother is not a bitch." said a female voice.

He turned around to get a punched in the fast by a small fist. The man fell backwards and hit the wall thus cracking it causing picture frames to fall. Sakura applauded her self then gasped silently as he got up with a sly grin on his face. "You thought you could get rid of me?"

_'Nooo. That's not fair!'_ she pouted.

**'Hahahaha! You mad that your losing kunoichi?'**

_'Shut up. Your starting to sound like Sasuke.'_ outer Sakura mentioned.

**'Oooh yeah. I'm Sasuke's soul that's stuck in your brain. Ha! Ha! Ha!'** it laughed.

_'Heh. Heh. Very funny.'_ she rolled her green eyes.

**'Look alive!'** it jumped.

_'Huh?'_

Thwack! He took out his scythe and slashed at the Kunocihi with one swipe. She flipped backwards and threw a kunai at she flipped he got a quick view of her panties.

The man dodged it easily and spoke in a dirty language. "Wow. I see some pussy."

Sakura blushed. "Ooh, so what?" she asked angrily.

He smirked. "You'll be a great addition to the Akatsuki."

Sakura tilted her head to the side. "Akatsuki?"

**'Wait a minute. That's a bad group.'**

**'So! Let's join em!'**

_'No! There the ones that are after Naruto kun.'_

**'So. It's great to switch sides at some point.'**

_'Maybe your righ--'_

Sakura paused her sentence at mid thought. Something horrible just happened and she didn't even notice. All because of that thing stuck in her mind! Said kunoichi creaked a green eye open to see a very horrible sight placed before her. It was horrible, just horrible. All she saw was red liquid trailing over the kitchen tiles. She couldn't speak, whisper or utter such a simple sound. She was shell shocked confused and now very lonely. Starting today.

~*~

"I'm sorry Sakura chan." apologized Naruto.

After her mothers left a few weeks after wards a funeral was held. All Sakura's friends and her mothers friends also were there to remember and remorse about her. People dressed in black walked one by one up to the casket and prayed then threw a white bell flower onto the coffin. Sakura was last in a black laced dress walking slowly out the crowd. The villagers looked at the kunocihi with sadness written all over their faces. She stood there watching her mother in a lifeless dull slumber.

"How ya doing kunoichi?" greeted a familiar voice.

Rain took over and poured over Konoha and Sakura. She was still there drencthed in droplets of rain that fell all over the earth. The man from beofre was standing behind her with his breath huskily blowing over her neck. She didn't dare to answer him after what he did to her mother.

"Are you angry?" he whispered.

The kunocihi slashed at him with her katana she secretly hidden in her dress. The man's purple eyes widened at what she just did. His face was now bleeding as a huge gash took over his face. As soon as thumder cracked through the sky, he grinned like a mad man. His wounds slowly healed leaving not a trace of blood on his pale face.

What the fuck was that bitch?!" he cursed and swung his scythe stabbing her in the stomach.

"Did you think you can get rid of me like that?!" He cursed once more and started to stab her again and again.

Sakura couldn't take it anymore. Why the hell was she so weak after getting trained under Tsunade? Was it not enough. Was she always suppose to fail like this?

Not quite.

She awoken and swiped the scythe from him. "What the fuck?" he cursed. But she didn't care. Thunder cracked through the sky again making Sakura look like the grim reaper in it's resurrected form. Her eyes were not a nice green color no more. Just sky blue with a hint of green in it along animalistic slits. Her form dropped as she swung the sword straight into his heart. He fell down to the wet grass with his own weapon thrust straight into his chest. Sakura flew around the ground like a ghost.

"Ha. Ha. That was a great fight kunochi." he got up and laughed at her.

"My name is Hidan and your coming with me." he grinned like a Cherise cat into the moonlight.

end of chapter one..

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And that's it. Yeah it's short. So what? Wanna fight about it? Anyways, I thought it was only fair to eliminate her mother out the story since we don't see her in the anime or manga. We don't even know what the hell her name is! It's such a damn shame that after all her training she still ends up like nothing in the manga and anime. Did you see that episode after she killed Sasori when they were talking to Kabuto and Orochimaru on the red bridge? Naruto got all 'rawr rawr GIMME SASUKE!' on the bridge and broke the damn shit ending up hurting Sakura in the process. I think she almost fell of the bridge. And in the manga after Tsunade died and stupid Kishimoto made Sakura act like a fangirl all over again.

I swear, when the hell is that damn manga going to be over?! And did you hear that there's a juubi? I wonder who the host is..

Well please review! It will be longer next time,

Sneak peak for chapter 2: Pink enters dark clouded ruins

"So who is this?"

"It is I. Ansem. Leader of the darkness that resides in all hearts!"

"Oh please. Not even close. The name is.."

"Destiny."

"Courage."

"The fallen has risen again."


End file.
